1 post tagged “perception”

I don't really know how to start these things off anymore - I guess that's part of my writing style. Call it a pitfall, call it a quirk - that's just me. Usually I'll make it a point to get some sort of writing done on here, then I get caught up with conversations on banal matters on AIM, which eventually renders me completely blocked on my writing ability.

Sometimes I feel as if there are a million different perceptions of "me" out there, and I don't know who's to blame for it. One person can see me as the peace-loving hippie, while another person could see me as the serious-minded sales clerk at a retail store, and the funny thing is that both versions would be correct. Whether I change myself depending on the crowd I'm in and who I "want to present myself as," or I am actually being who I truly am is the real question. I tend to use what I deem "social chameleonism" at times, and I don't know if that's a bad thing. The collective "we" use it all the time - on job interviews, when trying to impress our significant other's parents, etc. etc. I'm certainly not the only person who does it. The problem is now - how do I get to find out who I truly am. I guess that's what people call "growing up," and lately I've realized that I need to get my shit together to finally do my part in growing up.

I'm trying my best to give back to the world that I'm part of, and I'm planning on going into the Peace Corps. They do great work at helping parts of what some people call "the Third World." I don't know what the "Second World" is, but it sounds a bit too Tolkien-esque for my tastes. Regardless, as I see it, we're all in the "First World" together and we should do out part to make it right for everyone. Enough of all these stereotypes and using the collective "them" to denote a particular group of people. There's only I and we in my mind, and it doesn't matter what gender, race, sexual orientation, nationality or any other societal label people give you - in my eyes, we're all human and God help any Neanderthal we come into contact with. It's part of the reason why I respect all cultures: because I like to think of myself as multi-cultural. Blood doesn't matter at all. Just because I'm Irish and French Canadian by blood doesn't mean I can't consider myself Italian (like my mother and the rest of my family do since she was adopted) or anything else. Maybe in a past life (if there are such a thing) I was a person of many cultures. Or a cultural revolutionary. Or a wino on the streets of Paris. Regardless, I am who I am (or the person I project myself as for the time being).

I've been reading Abbie Hoffman's autobiography, "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture," and he makes some great points. He was a cultural icon and revolutionary who saw what was wrong and tried to fix it. Not that I'd model my own tactics to his, but I still admire his firm resolve in what he believed in. However, I'll agree with my father on this one and say that he should have stayed underground. Once he came back into mainstream society, he couldn't exist anymore. The society he helped to create and give creedence to no longer needed him. Activists from the '60s no longer needed their icons to lead them places - they took their countercultural ideals to the mainstream. After that, they killed their heroes by forgetting them and not caring about them anymore. And that's why Abbie Hoffman was doomed before he committed suicide. I still admire his ideals though, I just think it's tragic that he (pardon the phrase) was used like Kleenex - to quote Mrs. White from the movie "Clue," "Soft, strong, and disposable."

So here is where I leave you all, whoever reads this as a testament to whatever legacy I do lead. For better or worse I'll be writing again soon. But here's a word to the wise from the Diggers yet again - Be your own hero. Don't let other's trample on your vision.

And most importantly,

Be true to yourself always.

Even though I never am.